He's home!!!

We made it and our relationship is stronger than ever for it!

Someone missed her Daddy!!

My family is back together again! 

     On January 19, 2012, I became the luckiest and happiest woman alive!!! My one and only came home from Afghanistan! After a mess with flight delays and slow drivers, I finally got him!! They ended up calling me at 1145 saying they were just passing the Heilbronn exit, which is 21 km away, so I had about 20-30 minutes until they will be on post with him! So at about 1215, I headed to post. I got there, and he wasn't there. So I went up the the platoon office so that Makenna could be out of the car, and to wait for him. We were waiting for about 25 minutes, and I had noticed a really nasty odor coming from Munkee's diaper. So, I waited a few minutes longer, and realized that she was leaking through her diaper. I did not bring the diaper bag because we live 2 minutes from post, and by the time I got to post, he should of already been there. So, I ended up heading to the car, to run her home to change her, and that is when I seen my one and only!!! He had just got there, and so Makenna and I walked, hastily, up to him and gave him the biggest hugs and kisses ever!! It was an amazing feeling. I am trying not to jump on him and cry at the same time because it was raining, and super windy out, and I had Makenna in my arms! Then after he met the new platoon sergeant, we went home!!! I was and still am the happiest woman ever!!!!

Waiting

     It is almost 6:30 am here in Germany. At about 8am I am going to be picking up my amazing husband from the platoon office, where he is being brought as I type this right now! I am so excited. I have so many feelings rushing through my mind and body right now, I don't know how to control them, and I don't know which one to feel at this moment!

EXCITED!: I am excited for obvious reasons. The biggest reason is, though, that my daughter will no longer have to talk to a picture, or walk around the house looking for her Daddy, and me with no way to help her understand that Daddy is away shooting the bad guys, so that we can be safe.

ANXIOUS: I had a heck of a time sleeping last night! It took me forever to fall asleep, and staying asleep was a struggle! I have been awake since 5am! I just can't relax because the anxiety of having my husband home is sitting in. I mean anxiety in a good way! I don't have to do it all anymore, I can get help, and I never truly understood how much I appreciate the help when I do get it, because it isn't easy being a "single" but not single parent to a 15 month old Daddy's girl!

BLESSED: I am blessed to be able to having my wonderful husband home, though the rest of our friends, that became family, are still fighting, and for that I am thankful for! I feel bad to have taken my husband away from his "other family" and he feels bad too, and if it wasn't for my horrible back and body problems, I would still be counting the days until he comes home, in April! But missions change, and I know that is something our military friends can understand. I am the most hated wife right now, but I would give almost anything to be 1/2 as healthy as they are.

NERVOUS: I am so nervous! We have been living without each other for 9 months now, and even before the deployment, he was gone most days and nights, so it really has been like this for 15 months now! I have a schedule and a way I do things, and I know my husband will try his best to keep our schedule, he is going to come in and change things, for the better, but it will be an adjustment for all of us! A much needed adjustment though!

     As I write this, I think about our fellow comrades that are still fighting today, and I miss you guys too. You have become Makenna's demented Uncles, and I wouldn't change that for the world! Keep your head up, and you will be returning to your family in a blink of an eye! I love you guys!

Mail Call

     Today I was suppose to go to physical therapy, but I neglected to schedule Makenna for daycare today, and so when I called to see if they had a slot, they said that hourly care is closed for the week. Hourly care is for people who use daycare, not on a full-time, or part-time basis, more an an "hourly" rate pretty much whenever you need it. I cancelled all my physical therapy for the week since I don't have a sitter for Makenna. Bummed because my back is hurting me a lot the last couple of days. All well, soon I won't have to cancel anything!

     I ran around today and did some errands. First I went and got a V.A.T form to take the vet office. A V.A.T. form is when you spend a 100 euros or more, you can use this VAT form so that you do not have to pay the 19% sales tax they have here in Germany. It really saves you a lot of money. Jasper's vet bill would of been 100 euros (about $135 USD) but was only 81 euros (about $100 USD). I'll take all the savings I can get! After that I went to the Brucken Center (German Mall) and printed off some pictures of Germany. A friend of mine's mom asked me if I would print off pictures of Germany and send them to her since her son doesn't, so I did that today, and got an FRG blanket in the mail for her too. After that I went to the mail room and mailed the package to my friend's mom, and then a package of sewing projects for my nephews. I made Logan 2 pares of PJ pants out of old sheets, and I made Kaden an apron out of ACU's so he doesn't have to wear a girly one anymore! Then I came home. I still need to run the trash to post, pick up some baby wipes, and pick up an outdoor see-saw I am buying off of someone for Makenna. I also have school tonight at 1830! Busy day!!

     When I was mailing things off at the post office, I picked up my mail. A bunch of letters came in the mail and 3 packages! One was some clothes that I ordered Makenna in her next size! I totally forgot that I had ordered them, so Makenna does not need any more clothes in her next size. I also got Makenna's new jogging stroller in the mail today too! It wasn't suppose to be here for another month, so I am glad it came early. I ordered it from Walmart, and they usually take 1-2 months to ship to me overseas! It was a pleasant surprise. It is so nice out today, we'll probably test out the stroller in a little bit! The last thing that came in the mail was Makenna's infant car seat. I had to use it to go to Michigan, and then I bought her a big girl one, so my mom mailed her infant one back to me so I can sell it with the base, and matching stroller.


~~~~~~Husband leaves Afghanistan real soon!!!~~~~~~~

He's FINALLY coming home!

     Great news! I found out on Saturday, January 14th, that my amazingly wonderful, sexy, and perfect husband is coming home for sure!! He should be flying out on January __. (Cannot list the date until after he has flown). but I can tell you that it is any day now! I am hoping that he will be home by the end of the week! We were concerned about the weather because it was snowing like crazy there, but not it has calmed down, and the whole week is suppose to be sunny and above freezing, so the snow will melt, and all will be happy! I have been so excited that he is coming home since I found out almost a month ago, but the problem with my excitement is, I haven't slept in weeks! I am so excited that my mind cannot settle down. I have tried, and I am exhausted, but missing him for so long, and then finding out that he will forever be in my arms again, makes sleep impossible! I try to trick myself and tell myself if I go to sleep, I'll see him in my dreams, but it hasn't worked yet! I am getting the house around and made a list of things I want to do before he gets here, and things for him to do once he gets here, and that includes taking everything I need out of the spare bedroom, and into the garage! I'm putting him to work, a few days after he gets home. I'll give him a little break! LOL! 

     Makenna started walking full on on Saturday also! I was so excited! I am trying to figure out how to post the video on here because I took it with my cell phone. I'll figure it out eventually. She took her first few steps at about 11.5 months, but refused to walk. They said she was walking around like a champ at daycare, and she started doing it at home! Definitely a proud Momma moment! She is officially not a baby anymore. Not walking was the one thing that was keeping her an infant, but now she is full on toddler! I can't believe I am a Momma to a toddler! I miss the baby baby stage, but I do enjoy the fun and always surprising toddler stage. Time for another. LOL! Not any time soon.

   

     My step-son's mom also emailed Brandon and I on Saturday and said that she does not want to wait for us to be stateside before she gives us custody, but would like to do it ASAP! I am excited but I feel for my step son. His own mother doesn't want him. But I understand that, my own mother never wanted me either. So hopefully, she doesn't change her mind, and we can get the paperwork started, and sent to her, so she can send it back, and we can file it! I've been wanting our whole family under one roof since I met Brandon, so this will be great. No further details at this time, but ya'll will be the first to know!    

     Saturday was a very exciting and eventful day for me! I am so blessed and excited to have my husband home, my step son living with us, and Makenna walking! My family sure is growing and changing, but I am enjoying every second of it!

     Jasper's bladder infection is gone and he got fixed today. He thought it was cool to spray in my house and I wasn't having that! Luckily it was only ever on the wood floors or a blanket that was laying on the floor, so it was easy clean up, and my house didn't stink,  but still. I feel bad for him, but he is now an "it"! LOL! He is doing good though. He has been laying on me all day, and following me from room to room. It is cute. He is currently sitting in my lap while I write this. He's a sweety. In 10 days we will go get his stitches removed and he'll get some shots since I have been lazy about making sure he has all of his shots! I guess, better later than never. Right? LOL

     My health is still the same. My arms and legs are going out, and there is nothing that makes it better or worse, I just need time to heal. I guess that's the reality of life when your body hates you! LOL! I decided since I live in constant pain and problems, that my husband and I are going to take extra precautions so that I don't get pregnant, and that includes putting myself on birth control. I hate birth control, and I am ready for another baby, but my body is not ready for another. We are also moving in December to who knows where, at this point, and that means losing the military pay, so financially it would be stupid! This is what I tell myself everyday that I see all my friends get pregnant and hear about stupid people that don't take care of their babies! I have to convince myself everyday that right now isn't a good time. We suffered a miscarriage after R and R, so I thought that itself would be convincing enough, but usually isn't. I don't want to go through that again, and I was so alone when it happened, which made it even worse. So waiting is whats best!

     Moving on! I watched the movie "The Help" and I won't tell you too many details, but it was great, and I think that everyone in the entire world should watch this movie! It is for the old, young, black, white, boy, or girl! It's for everyone! Go watch it if you haven't already! I cannot wait to make my husband watch it! He'll like once he actually starts watching it!

    Well, it's time for bed. It's after 1am here in Germany, and I think I might be able to fall asleep! Have a good day/night! 

Letter to my husband's company

I decided to sit back and breath and write a short, but well thought out, letter to my husband's rear-D 1SG. Here is what I said:

     I would really like an update. I don't understand why you can't provide me with one. You told me on the 21st of December that once the Dr's note get sent to Afghanistan, it should only take 36 hours. It is now the 12th of January, and still nothing. My health is getting worse, and is now effecting my legs, making it very difficult to drive, and I even fell down the stairs yesterday because my legs gave out on me. I really need his help. I don't know why nothing has happened. I feel like, once again, the 527 can't get anything done right! We have had nothing but problems with this company, and yet again, this is another problem we are having. Everyone is pointing fingers, when there is no excuse. My health is getting worse, and I need my husband's help, and ya'll can't get it done. My husband is severely stressed out because of my health problems, and not being able to, not only help me out, but be able to take care of his child when I can't. I am 21 years old and I am physically falling apart, and everyday it seems to be getting worse. I am not asking for much, I am just asking for my husband's assistance, while I try to get better. 

-Meghan Hetherton

Insomnia

     Well today is January 12, 2012 and it is about 9 minutes after midnight. I can't sleep! I fell asleep on my couch earlier for like an hour, after I put Makenna down at 2000, and when I went to go back to bed, I couldn't sleep! This has been happening a lot lately and I am tired of spending my days so tired, and my nights exhausted, but unable to sleep! UGGGG!!! On the 10th, I had to go to Hohenfels, which is an hour drive away to pick up this satellite box so we can have TV channels, and on my way there, an asshole cut me off on the autobahn (highway) and made me slam on my breaks, causing my Jeep to slip on the wet roads, and go off the road, and into a little tree. I only hit the branches of the tree, and nobody was hurt luckily. The car just drove off with hesitating. Now my beautiful Jeep has a bunch of small dents from the drivers side door, and the drivers side front fender, and a large dent in the drivers side front bumper. The glass part of the drivers side, side view mirror popped out of its plastic casing too. I am getting the mirror fixed, but the dents, I'm leaving. We won't have the Jeep much longer, so I don't want to pay to repair it. They aren't that noticeable anyways. Makenna was strapped into her car seat on the passenger side, back seat, where no damaged occurred, and she slept through the whole incident, which was nice.  

HEALTH UPDATE:
     Nothing has really changed, but I am starting to feel the weakness in my legs and that was what my Dr was concerned about. I already have the weakness in my arms, shoulders, and hands, but now my legs are going out. My legs gave in on me yesterday and I almost fell down the stairs. Luckily, Makenna was in the car already, and I was running up stairs because I forgot my ID card. I have physical therapy today and I am going to talk to her about it. I am also going to make an appointment to see my regular doctor, today, so we can talk about it. I am falling apart and it is so scary and I think that is contributing to my insomnia! It just stresses me out!! I'm only 21!!

JASPER UPDATE:
     The last 3 days now, Jasper, our 8 month old kitty, has been whining obnoxiously! I didn't know why either. I thought maybe he was horny, so after 2 days of losing sleep because of him I let him outside, and he just wanted right back in. He doesn't usually go outside, but he's been out on our balcony quite a bit. So I got a vet appointment yesterday and took him in. Poor little fella has a bladder infection and I feel like the world's worst mother for spanking him for being annoying, and he was in a lot of pain! I'll never let that happen again! They gave him an antibiotic shot, that will last a week, and they gave him a pain killer shot, that will last a day or two, until the antibiotics kick it. He has been sleeping since we got home. He even went to bed without me, which is unusual! He always waits for me! I feel so bad for him. For the next two weeks he is on a wet cat food mixed with warm water, so its soupy, diet, and water (as usual). He has a check-up next week to see if he is getting better. When he goes back I am going to schedule him to get his shots and to get him fixed for the beginning of February. I also learned today that he only has one ball on the outside, and the other ball is on the inside, so its not only going to cost me double to get him fixed, but if I don't get him fixed, it can lead to Cancer! I don't want that! I took him to a German vet since the vet on post was booked up for another week, and the vet on post is temporarily a 30 minute drive away! The German vet is super nice, and I was very impressed with him. They are a little bit more pricey, but totally worth it! I will continue to bring Jasper to him from now on!!

MAKENNA UPDATE:
     Makenna is walking/running more. She only does it on her time. She prefers walking on her knees (not crawling, her body is completely upright) and she is actually pretty fast! I know I can't move that fast in that position! LOL! But she is still my normal, silly little Munkee girl. She is learning more animals and identifying a lot of things! She really absorbs all the things I teach her. She went to bed at 2000, and around 2300, I hear a big thud from her room, and she was crying, so I ran in there, and she fell out of her bed. She had fallen out once before, when we first switched her into a toddler bed. She's currently sleeping in my bed until I decide to move her back to her bed before I go to sleep.

BRANDON UPDATE:
     Still no update on when he will be home. I am not going into much detail because it just pisses me off! Just know that he is not home, where he should be, yet. :'(


I hope everyone is sleeping better than me, and I hope that your kitty doesn't get what Jasper has because he was in a lot of pain! :( Good night everyone!

Leg Warmers



Makenna's Diva look!

      So, I went to H & M the other day and got Makenna a belt that is so cute and a pare of leg warmers! I have been eyeing leg warmers for myself and for Makenna for a while, and finally broke down and got her a pare. She is wearing them today and she looks so fabulous! I am going back to buy her more!! They just look so cute on her!! I am going to buy a couple pares for myself too! I have this new leg warmer obsession! When we get paid next week, I am going leg warmer shopping! Sounds lame, but I just love them and they are so cheap, and its such a cute way to dress up, and change the look of any outfit! I like to be trendy and I also like to be realistic about money, so I think leg warmers will give me the fix on refreshing my clothes and Makenna's clothes.

     No new update on when my husband will be home, but as always, I am hoping to hear something real soon! They did his promotion ceremony today too, at 1300 his time, so 0930 my time, here in Germany. I told him he better take pictures so that I can see, I was hoping he would be home in time, so that Makenna could promote him, but all well, at least he is promoted now! I am so proud of him for dealing with them losing his crap, and having to go back to the board and what not, so I am glad to see his hard work pay off, finally! He truly is amazing and such a great soldier, and I am not just saying that because I am his wife. I use to work with him, so I know.

January 6th

    Well, I found out we are still waiting on one signature, and then the paperwork will be done and he will be coming home. Apparently they are having administration issues downrange, so the 1SG downrange is going to spend the next few days getting all the issues fixed, including ours! I am hoping to hear some news soon! I signed Brandon up for a class to take with me and it starts on January 17th, so I am hoping I don't have to drop him because I really want him to take this class with me! Sounds lame, but I think that it would be cute to go to college together! He says I am lame, but I know secretly he thinks its pretty cool too. Plus, a lot of my school friends have never met Brandon and I really want them too!

     My friend that I grew up with, Kaci, her Daddy died last night. Dennis was always so good and he was like a Dad to me too growing up, since I didn't have one. He was sick for a long time, and just got fed up with fighting, so he decided that it was his time last night. Kaci flew in from California over night, so that she could see him. He passed while holding her hand. He will forever be in my heart!

     After my "me day" yesterday, today I feel refreshed and I feel like my parenting was better today! I am glad that I got my day even though I spent the whole time thinking about Makenna, but I still think that it is important to get some "me" time. It was a long over due day! So thankful that Makenna's school is so good and she loves it!! She had a good day and so did I!

2012, Looking UP!

NEW YEARS:    
     So I barely made it to New Years. I had no reason to celebrate really. Makenna was in bed at 2000, and luckily the fireworks didn't wake her. The only days that fireworks are legal in Germany, are New's Eve and day. So the German's go nuts. I am glad I don't live in town Ansbach, because the whole city was one big giant party! Too crazy for my boring life. LOL! Sometimes I feel old! LOL! My parents even went out drinking for New Year's as I stayed in bed, watching one of my new favorite shows "Fringe". Which, if you have not seen it, you are wrong!! LOL!
    


     Today is January 4th. My husband has been gone going on our 9th month. I found out 2 weeks ago that he will be home within the next 36 hours! I found out today that our paperwork is being pushed aside because of some shit, that I have no idea what, went down in Afghanistan, so they are pushing that before ours. I am really irriated and upset! I just want to cry, but I know that will get me know where really fast! I went to councelling today and I spent the whole time fighting to keep Makenna occupied. She is a 14 month old baby, I really can't expect much from her. But this is why I need him home because I get nothing accomplished if she is with me, and I would rather not go to an appointment then it be a waste! My husband got online today and updated his Facebook status, but did not write me a comment or a message at all, so I assumed that meant he was going to call me later, and well, its almost 2000, my time, so 2330 his time, and he is working mid shift tonight, so I know I won't get a call. IRRIATED MOOD RIGHT NOW!!!

     Makenna is in bed early today because she did not take a nap at all today! She is going to school tomorrow morning at 08, and staying until 1700! I am going to treat myself to getting my nails done before I got to physical therapy, alone, at 1520. Not in a very optomisic mood at all today!!!

Dismal December

     December was a pretty busy month for me, and not just because of the holidays either.

School Update:
     December meant the last three weeks of school for my writing class, and my biology class. I fell behind on my school work from being in the hospital, recovery, and then Makenna getting sick, but my teachers were very understanding and let me catch up with all my work. I finished both of my classes with C's. Not my best grades, but I have been overloaded and stress lately, my work is lacking a bit. But honestly, I am still passing the classes, so that is all I care about. I raise my daughter alone, in a foriegn country, and I am only 21 years old. On top of the normal motherly stress, dealing with my husband being deployed doesn't make focusing any easier.

Health Update:
     Physical therapy is going well. It is getting hard to take Makenna and daycare closed their hourly center and so they only have a few spots open with the full time daycare kids. Makenna doesn't like to sit still in her stroller, so she fusses. Well, they don't like the fussing because it may prevent the other patients from being able to relax. I get where they are coming from, but my hands are tied, and I really need the physical therapy to get better.
     Councelling is going well too. I see her once a week. My shrink, Ami, is working really well with me and getting to know me so she can teach me how to cope with stresses that I can't handle. My problem is that I get stressed over the things that I can't change. Sounds bad, but I don't know how to just let things go or let things take their course.
     I also see a mind body therapist once every 2 weeks. She shows me coping mechanisms for when I am stressed. She showed me this tapping thing. It is really hard to explain through typing, but maybe one day I will make a video and upload it on here because I am sure it will help others too! I have never heard of it, and I google mechanisms all the time! LOL!
     Yes, that is true, I have 4 appointments one week, and three appointments the next, and it alternates. It will probably be like this for the next few months. Maybe soon, I can cut back on the councelling so that I will have one less appointment to go too. I am hoping to make councelling a once every 2 weeks thing, and then a once a month thing, and then slowly and surely, not at all, maybe just a refresher every few months. Here's hoping. Physical therapy will stay crazy and hectic for a while, until I make some progress physically. Who knows when that will be. Only God knows.

     My car's check engine light came on and the mechanics on post told me that it was a computer problem so I drove an hour to Nurnberg and paid 80 euros to have them update the computer system, and that did not fix the problem. Now they think that my Jeep has 2 faulty O2 sensors. They don't know if they need to be replaced or if it is something else, so they are going to charge me to let me know if they need to be replaced or what. Got to love mechanics and money grubbing AAFES!!! AAFES is the company on post that sucks what little money the military pays us, out!!! I hate AAFES! They are severely over priced, and they carry crappy quality stuff or they have like Prada and Coach brand stuff and that is just way to expensive for our one income and 2 kids we provide for! Getting off my AAFES rant now!


Makenna's gifts!





     The holidays were good. Makenna hates Santa. She was so afraid of him both times she hated him. It is probably her age. We found out on December 21st that my husband is being released from Afghanistan EARLY to come and help me!!! I am so excited. They told me 36 hours, and well, it has been 2 weeks since they said that, and he still isn't home and the paperwork to get him home isn't even done!! UGGG!!! FUCKING ARMY!!!! I am very appreciative that he is coming home earlier than the rest of the guys, but I want to know when. I need his help to watch Makenna while I go to my million appointments!!! The Army just doesn't even care about families. They never have, and sadly, they never will. We waited to celebrate Christmas, but after a week had gone, after Christmas, I gave in and did Christmas. Christmas was great, and Makenna made out like a bandent!! My huney got me three bracelets and sapphire earings. I loved them!!! I picked them out, but still!

     So December pretty much was busy, but it fricking sucked celebrating Brandon and I's 3rd Christmas together, apart! I was so sad pretty much all of the month, that I kept buying the kids presents to try to fill the void. It didn't work at all! I didn't do any baking or anything. I baked a little bit for Brandon to go in his care packages, but that was it! This year was not a Christmas spirit kind of year...

Reflecting on November 2011

     November was an ok month. Brandon has been back in Afghanistan, from R and R, about 2 months now. Makenna was on a consistent schedule of going to school twice a week, so she was loving the interaction. She cried when I left, but after I was out of sight, I was out of her mind.



New Tattoo



     On October 25, I got a new tattoo on my left forearm. It is of Makenna's footprints from when she was only a couple weeks old. It turned out really nice. I originally wanted it on my back, lower left side, but my love handles made it lay weird, so until they are gone, tattoo's won't really look good back there. All well. The tattoo artist was so nice, and he worked with me trying to find a new spot for it. He even pointed out that it laid funny and it was going to look funny if I got it there. So I am really appreciative of that.

     

     On November 2nd, April, a fellow soldier, and former co-worker from when I was in the Army, and I went to the Katterbach Fitness Center to donate blood for the Armed Forces Blood drive. I was a little weary because back in April when I donated blood, they couldn't get my veins and so I couldn't donate really. I was also weary because I had just gotten a new tattoo. But I guess as long as the needles and ink were sterile you can donate still. So I donated. It was a good time. Went to the commissary afterwards, then home, and later picked up Makenna from school. Not too shabby of a day.

     On Thursday the 3rd of November, and every Thursday after until December 15th, I had school. The currently class that I was taking face to face was writing. I liked the instructor a lot. Mr. Lang was a tough grader, but also very understanding. He understood when I needed to miss class for my daughter being sick or myself. I try not to miss too many days because then it is hard to catch up. The class consisted of a lot of conferences online, and 3 major papers. It wasn't too difficult, just very time consuming. I would spend at least 12 hours a week, working on his class. I was also taking biology online and a personal finance class. The personal finance class ended on November 20th. It was a weird inbetween the two sessions class. It started half way through session 1 and ended half way through session 2. My school has 2 sessions a semester. Each session is 8 weeks long, instead of the normal 16 week classes. It is nice, but they still have to fit everything that you would normally learn in 16 weeks, into 8 weeks. It keeps you on your toes for sure!  I had signed up to take a couple of seminars, the first weekend of November, and the first weekend of December, but they were both cancelled. I was kind of mad and excited at the same time. Seminars are 2 days, for 8 hours and are worth 1 credit hour. I wanted the credits, but I was kind of glad that I didn't have to sit through them! lol! School for November was normal. It was about half way through the session, and so the homework load was pretty heavy as well as the reading.
  
     I had a few Dr's appointments in November too. I have found out about the Neurological disorder back in September, and found myself in the hospital the Monday after Thanksgiving. I was rushed, via ambulance, to the E.R. because I couldn't move my back at all. It was parallized. It hurt so bad. On top of the MP's showing up, after being lost, and I was on my period, wearing a pad, but in a night gown, and the MP had to lift me back into bed, because I combat rolled out of bed, to unlock the door, they sent one female MP I can't stand! She use to stalk my husband and before we got married, she would like corner me in the barracks rooms bathroom and talk shit. She is so weird! I also decided that instead of clenaing up my house the night before, that it was more important to put together my daughter's toy kitchen she was receiving for Christmas, so the kitchen was a disaster! I was so imbaressed! I did not want "crazy"(the female MP) to see my normally very clean and beautiful home, messy!!! Just my luck of course!!! Christina, my BFF here, came to my rescue and kept Makenna, along with her 6 year old, and 4 month old twins, for the 3 days I was in the hospital. The Germans treated me like shit because I couldn't speak German, and they pretty much kept me, but were no help!! UGGG!! I was so mad!! I still am!! LOL!!!

     Thanksgiving Day was fun. I was going to do it with a friend, but it became very unorganized, and I really wanted to do something for the MP's that are single, that had no place to go, so I cooked for them. April came over, but everyone else was getting in trouble and were stuck cleaning and what not, so I just sent the rest of the food to the barracks and they ate there. It was nice to have just one person in my house, its not very big, instead of like 30! They still got good food, so that's all that matters. I cooked my very first turkey and it was amazing!!! It only took 18 hours in my very small convection oven, but it was perfect!!! I was so proud of myself. I also made green bean casserole, corn casserole, stuffing, cranberry sauce (canned), mashed potatoes, and gravy! It was so yummy!!! It all turned out perfect except the pies. I usually make a really good apple pie, but I didn't have enough apples, so it tasted good, but looked like crap! I didn't serve it.

     November also marked the 7th month of my husband being gone! I miss him so much!! It sucks so much not being able to cook, clean, or do anything for him. I feel so helpless!! I just want to do it all for him! I felt guilty celebrating Thanksgiving without him, but he told me that this is what he chose to do and he doesn't want Makenna or I to miss out on normal festivities just because he does. He truly is amazing! I couldn't ask for a better, and more understanding husband!

    

Life as we know it....

     The last time I wrote in this blog was November 1, 2011, and I gave a rough overview of what had happened in October. My goal for this blog was to write in it at least once a week to tell you about how I am doing and how my family is handling the deployment. It isn't easy at all, and for the most part, since he has been gone, it has shown to be the toughest thing my family and I have to fight through everyday. Him being gone and me having to do everything around the house, for the car, do the bills, manage the money, raise our now almost 15 month old daughter alone, and live in a foreign country isn't what is the toughest, I think the toughest thing is no know 1) when he will be home, 2) when I do speak with him I don't know if it will be the last time, and 3) sleeping alone every night. Brandon has been gone for 247 days now. That is a long time!!! But many things have happened in those 247 days, and I know that many more things will happen that will be great, that will get me through the last 118 days. I have to kind of give myself a pep talk and really talk myself into being able to handle it; yet another reason for this blog. I promise I will be on later today, when Kenna is napping, to update you and really take the time to give you a detailed account of the last 2 months!!!