Leg Warmers



Makenna's Diva look!

      So, I went to H & M the other day and got Makenna a belt that is so cute and a pare of leg warmers! I have been eyeing leg warmers for myself and for Makenna for a while, and finally broke down and got her a pare. She is wearing them today and she looks so fabulous! I am going back to buy her more!! They just look so cute on her!! I am going to buy a couple pares for myself too! I have this new leg warmer obsession! When we get paid next week, I am going leg warmer shopping! Sounds lame, but I just love them and they are so cheap, and its such a cute way to dress up, and change the look of any outfit! I like to be trendy and I also like to be realistic about money, so I think leg warmers will give me the fix on refreshing my clothes and Makenna's clothes.

     No new update on when my husband will be home, but as always, I am hoping to hear something real soon! They did his promotion ceremony today too, at 1300 his time, so 0930 my time, here in Germany. I told him he better take pictures so that I can see, I was hoping he would be home in time, so that Makenna could promote him, but all well, at least he is promoted now! I am so proud of him for dealing with them losing his crap, and having to go back to the board and what not, so I am glad to see his hard work pay off, finally! He truly is amazing and such a great soldier, and I am not just saying that because I am his wife. I use to work with him, so I know.

January 6th

    Well, I found out we are still waiting on one signature, and then the paperwork will be done and he will be coming home. Apparently they are having administration issues downrange, so the 1SG downrange is going to spend the next few days getting all the issues fixed, including ours! I am hoping to hear some news soon! I signed Brandon up for a class to take with me and it starts on January 17th, so I am hoping I don't have to drop him because I really want him to take this class with me! Sounds lame, but I think that it would be cute to go to college together! He says I am lame, but I know secretly he thinks its pretty cool too. Plus, a lot of my school friends have never met Brandon and I really want them too!

     My friend that I grew up with, Kaci, her Daddy died last night. Dennis was always so good and he was like a Dad to me too growing up, since I didn't have one. He was sick for a long time, and just got fed up with fighting, so he decided that it was his time last night. Kaci flew in from California over night, so that she could see him. He passed while holding her hand. He will forever be in my heart!

     After my "me day" yesterday, today I feel refreshed and I feel like my parenting was better today! I am glad that I got my day even though I spent the whole time thinking about Makenna, but I still think that it is important to get some "me" time. It was a long over due day! So thankful that Makenna's school is so good and she loves it!! She had a good day and so did I!

2012, Looking UP!

NEW YEARS:    
     So I barely made it to New Years. I had no reason to celebrate really. Makenna was in bed at 2000, and luckily the fireworks didn't wake her. The only days that fireworks are legal in Germany, are New's Eve and day. So the German's go nuts. I am glad I don't live in town Ansbach, because the whole city was one big giant party! Too crazy for my boring life. LOL! Sometimes I feel old! LOL! My parents even went out drinking for New Year's as I stayed in bed, watching one of my new favorite shows "Fringe". Which, if you have not seen it, you are wrong!! LOL!
    


     Today is January 4th. My husband has been gone going on our 9th month. I found out 2 weeks ago that he will be home within the next 36 hours! I found out today that our paperwork is being pushed aside because of some shit, that I have no idea what, went down in Afghanistan, so they are pushing that before ours. I am really irriated and upset! I just want to cry, but I know that will get me know where really fast! I went to councelling today and I spent the whole time fighting to keep Makenna occupied. She is a 14 month old baby, I really can't expect much from her. But this is why I need him home because I get nothing accomplished if she is with me, and I would rather not go to an appointment then it be a waste! My husband got online today and updated his Facebook status, but did not write me a comment or a message at all, so I assumed that meant he was going to call me later, and well, its almost 2000, my time, so 2330 his time, and he is working mid shift tonight, so I know I won't get a call. IRRIATED MOOD RIGHT NOW!!!

     Makenna is in bed early today because she did not take a nap at all today! She is going to school tomorrow morning at 08, and staying until 1700! I am going to treat myself to getting my nails done before I got to physical therapy, alone, at 1520. Not in a very optomisic mood at all today!!!

Dismal December

     December was a pretty busy month for me, and not just because of the holidays either.

School Update:
     December meant the last three weeks of school for my writing class, and my biology class. I fell behind on my school work from being in the hospital, recovery, and then Makenna getting sick, but my teachers were very understanding and let me catch up with all my work. I finished both of my classes with C's. Not my best grades, but I have been overloaded and stress lately, my work is lacking a bit. But honestly, I am still passing the classes, so that is all I care about. I raise my daughter alone, in a foriegn country, and I am only 21 years old. On top of the normal motherly stress, dealing with my husband being deployed doesn't make focusing any easier.

Health Update:
     Physical therapy is going well. It is getting hard to take Makenna and daycare closed their hourly center and so they only have a few spots open with the full time daycare kids. Makenna doesn't like to sit still in her stroller, so she fusses. Well, they don't like the fussing because it may prevent the other patients from being able to relax. I get where they are coming from, but my hands are tied, and I really need the physical therapy to get better.
     Councelling is going well too. I see her once a week. My shrink, Ami, is working really well with me and getting to know me so she can teach me how to cope with stresses that I can't handle. My problem is that I get stressed over the things that I can't change. Sounds bad, but I don't know how to just let things go or let things take their course.
     I also see a mind body therapist once every 2 weeks. She shows me coping mechanisms for when I am stressed. She showed me this tapping thing. It is really hard to explain through typing, but maybe one day I will make a video and upload it on here because I am sure it will help others too! I have never heard of it, and I google mechanisms all the time! LOL!
     Yes, that is true, I have 4 appointments one week, and three appointments the next, and it alternates. It will probably be like this for the next few months. Maybe soon, I can cut back on the councelling so that I will have one less appointment to go too. I am hoping to make councelling a once every 2 weeks thing, and then a once a month thing, and then slowly and surely, not at all, maybe just a refresher every few months. Here's hoping. Physical therapy will stay crazy and hectic for a while, until I make some progress physically. Who knows when that will be. Only God knows.

     My car's check engine light came on and the mechanics on post told me that it was a computer problem so I drove an hour to Nurnberg and paid 80 euros to have them update the computer system, and that did not fix the problem. Now they think that my Jeep has 2 faulty O2 sensors. They don't know if they need to be replaced or if it is something else, so they are going to charge me to let me know if they need to be replaced or what. Got to love mechanics and money grubbing AAFES!!! AAFES is the company on post that sucks what little money the military pays us, out!!! I hate AAFES! They are severely over priced, and they carry crappy quality stuff or they have like Prada and Coach brand stuff and that is just way to expensive for our one income and 2 kids we provide for! Getting off my AAFES rant now!


Makenna's gifts!





     The holidays were good. Makenna hates Santa. She was so afraid of him both times she hated him. It is probably her age. We found out on December 21st that my husband is being released from Afghanistan EARLY to come and help me!!! I am so excited. They told me 36 hours, and well, it has been 2 weeks since they said that, and he still isn't home and the paperwork to get him home isn't even done!! UGGG!!! FUCKING ARMY!!!! I am very appreciative that he is coming home earlier than the rest of the guys, but I want to know when. I need his help to watch Makenna while I go to my million appointments!!! The Army just doesn't even care about families. They never have, and sadly, they never will. We waited to celebrate Christmas, but after a week had gone, after Christmas, I gave in and did Christmas. Christmas was great, and Makenna made out like a bandent!! My huney got me three bracelets and sapphire earings. I loved them!!! I picked them out, but still!

     So December pretty much was busy, but it fricking sucked celebrating Brandon and I's 3rd Christmas together, apart! I was so sad pretty much all of the month, that I kept buying the kids presents to try to fill the void. It didn't work at all! I didn't do any baking or anything. I baked a little bit for Brandon to go in his care packages, but that was it! This year was not a Christmas spirit kind of year...

Reflecting on November 2011

     November was an ok month. Brandon has been back in Afghanistan, from R and R, about 2 months now. Makenna was on a consistent schedule of going to school twice a week, so she was loving the interaction. She cried when I left, but after I was out of sight, I was out of her mind.



New Tattoo



     On October 25, I got a new tattoo on my left forearm. It is of Makenna's footprints from when she was only a couple weeks old. It turned out really nice. I originally wanted it on my back, lower left side, but my love handles made it lay weird, so until they are gone, tattoo's won't really look good back there. All well. The tattoo artist was so nice, and he worked with me trying to find a new spot for it. He even pointed out that it laid funny and it was going to look funny if I got it there. So I am really appreciative of that.

     

     On November 2nd, April, a fellow soldier, and former co-worker from when I was in the Army, and I went to the Katterbach Fitness Center to donate blood for the Armed Forces Blood drive. I was a little weary because back in April when I donated blood, they couldn't get my veins and so I couldn't donate really. I was also weary because I had just gotten a new tattoo. But I guess as long as the needles and ink were sterile you can donate still. So I donated. It was a good time. Went to the commissary afterwards, then home, and later picked up Makenna from school. Not too shabby of a day.

     On Thursday the 3rd of November, and every Thursday after until December 15th, I had school. The currently class that I was taking face to face was writing. I liked the instructor a lot. Mr. Lang was a tough grader, but also very understanding. He understood when I needed to miss class for my daughter being sick or myself. I try not to miss too many days because then it is hard to catch up. The class consisted of a lot of conferences online, and 3 major papers. It wasn't too difficult, just very time consuming. I would spend at least 12 hours a week, working on his class. I was also taking biology online and a personal finance class. The personal finance class ended on November 20th. It was a weird inbetween the two sessions class. It started half way through session 1 and ended half way through session 2. My school has 2 sessions a semester. Each session is 8 weeks long, instead of the normal 16 week classes. It is nice, but they still have to fit everything that you would normally learn in 16 weeks, into 8 weeks. It keeps you on your toes for sure!  I had signed up to take a couple of seminars, the first weekend of November, and the first weekend of December, but they were both cancelled. I was kind of mad and excited at the same time. Seminars are 2 days, for 8 hours and are worth 1 credit hour. I wanted the credits, but I was kind of glad that I didn't have to sit through them! lol! School for November was normal. It was about half way through the session, and so the homework load was pretty heavy as well as the reading.
  
     I had a few Dr's appointments in November too. I have found out about the Neurological disorder back in September, and found myself in the hospital the Monday after Thanksgiving. I was rushed, via ambulance, to the E.R. because I couldn't move my back at all. It was parallized. It hurt so bad. On top of the MP's showing up, after being lost, and I was on my period, wearing a pad, but in a night gown, and the MP had to lift me back into bed, because I combat rolled out of bed, to unlock the door, they sent one female MP I can't stand! She use to stalk my husband and before we got married, she would like corner me in the barracks rooms bathroom and talk shit. She is so weird! I also decided that instead of clenaing up my house the night before, that it was more important to put together my daughter's toy kitchen she was receiving for Christmas, so the kitchen was a disaster! I was so imbaressed! I did not want "crazy"(the female MP) to see my normally very clean and beautiful home, messy!!! Just my luck of course!!! Christina, my BFF here, came to my rescue and kept Makenna, along with her 6 year old, and 4 month old twins, for the 3 days I was in the hospital. The Germans treated me like shit because I couldn't speak German, and they pretty much kept me, but were no help!! UGGG!! I was so mad!! I still am!! LOL!!!

     Thanksgiving Day was fun. I was going to do it with a friend, but it became very unorganized, and I really wanted to do something for the MP's that are single, that had no place to go, so I cooked for them. April came over, but everyone else was getting in trouble and were stuck cleaning and what not, so I just sent the rest of the food to the barracks and they ate there. It was nice to have just one person in my house, its not very big, instead of like 30! They still got good food, so that's all that matters. I cooked my very first turkey and it was amazing!!! It only took 18 hours in my very small convection oven, but it was perfect!!! I was so proud of myself. I also made green bean casserole, corn casserole, stuffing, cranberry sauce (canned), mashed potatoes, and gravy! It was so yummy!!! It all turned out perfect except the pies. I usually make a really good apple pie, but I didn't have enough apples, so it tasted good, but looked like crap! I didn't serve it.

     November also marked the 7th month of my husband being gone! I miss him so much!! It sucks so much not being able to cook, clean, or do anything for him. I feel so helpless!! I just want to do it all for him! I felt guilty celebrating Thanksgiving without him, but he told me that this is what he chose to do and he doesn't want Makenna or I to miss out on normal festivities just because he does. He truly is amazing! I couldn't ask for a better, and more understanding husband!

    

Life as we know it....

     The last time I wrote in this blog was November 1, 2011, and I gave a rough overview of what had happened in October. My goal for this blog was to write in it at least once a week to tell you about how I am doing and how my family is handling the deployment. It isn't easy at all, and for the most part, since he has been gone, it has shown to be the toughest thing my family and I have to fight through everyday. Him being gone and me having to do everything around the house, for the car, do the bills, manage the money, raise our now almost 15 month old daughter alone, and live in a foreign country isn't what is the toughest, I think the toughest thing is no know 1) when he will be home, 2) when I do speak with him I don't know if it will be the last time, and 3) sleeping alone every night. Brandon has been gone for 247 days now. That is a long time!!! But many things have happened in those 247 days, and I know that many more things will happen that will be great, that will get me through the last 118 days. I have to kind of give myself a pep talk and really talk myself into being able to handle it; yet another reason for this blog. I promise I will be on later today, when Kenna is napping, to update you and really take the time to give you a detailed account of the last 2 months!!!

Halloween 2011

     So, yesterday was Halloween. I took Makenna to daycare, but we call it school, and she had a blast at their Halloween party. She wore her costume. Of course they got supposedly "washable" paint on her costume. I washed it, and most of it didn't come out, but I was able to hide it, for the most part. Then we came home, played around, and got ready for trick or treating. We went trick or treating on post, and Makenna got quite a bit of candy. She would of gotten more if we were in a normal community, but thats ok. She don't really eat candy anyways. I try to keep the family on a low fat and low sugar diet. I don't want the kids or my husband and I to have heath problems in the future. Halloween was pretty much what it was. I mean, it is a lot more fun when her Daddy is home, and he is scary everyone, and making the simplist things 100 times more fun, but we made do! Next year we are all going to wear matching family costumes! I can't wait. We are going to be so fricking cute!! But that's all I got for Halloween. I hope ya'lls was fantabulous too!