Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body

One of my Drill Sergeants once told me (by once I mean, once a day) that "pain is weakness leaving the body". I have to agree with his statement. I am 21 years old, a mother, wife, sister, student, and well, many other things. I also have been diagnosed with something that is not life threatening, for now, but something that will remind me everyday, I am 21 going on 70. I was diagnosed with this fancy neurological disorder. To dumb it down (I don't think your dumb, I needed this version of it too) I have pain in my spine because the nerves in my spine are always freaking out because they want to ignore my brain, when my brain says everything is ok. Now, this could be easily managed, had well, I found out 15 years ago, but since I didn't, there's wonderful medicine you can take, that has a low addictive power (but still could be addictive). (I chose no though) Well, that would be all great and dandy, if I also did not have muscle deterioration in my lower back. The muscles that stretch from the lower back, left and right, deteriorated a bit, and so what is left is compensating for what is lost. I do also have scoliosis, but I did find that out when I was 14, it's just slowly getting worse. Nothing to worry about for at least the next 10 years. I also have lupus. It's a minor case of lupus, luckily. But they think that is how I got the muscle deterioration in my spine. Lupus is an auto-immune disorder where your own body's immune system attacks healthy cells, like the muscle tissue in my back. Though their is no test to prove that it is the cause of the muscle deterioration in the back, we are pretty much waiting for it to attack something else. Until then, medication is optional, so I chose no. (I hate medication) Physical therapy didn't help, and it wouldn't, but hey, I tried.

I have a lot of pain because of my health problems, and now I am pregnant with twins. I am learning to live with pain, and not let the pain live my life. One day I will live pain free, but until I can figure out away to make that happen without medication, life goes on. I refuse to be another pill poppy stereotype. I know there is something out there, whether it be another answer or diagnosis, and one day, I will find out, but until then, I'll deal with the pain, ignoring it as much as possible, and enjoy the fact, that one day it will probably be worse, a lot worse, but for now, I still am ME!