The Sewing Project

 So it’s been a couple days since I began writing this journal, so let’s begin again.

               Brandon has been gone for exactly 47 days! Sometimes I think, “wow, 47 days gone already” but then reality sinks in and I then think “well this sucks, only 47 days gone, and roughly 318 days left!” That’s the pessimistic side of me showing through and that makes me miss my always confident, always optimistic husband!   Now let us get back on track.

               Day 5. When my hubster and I were waiting to get our tax return, we made a list of things we wanted. We got new furniture in the living room and bedroom, other household items, and to just plain spoil ourselves a little bit because money is tight most of the time. Anyways, we agreed on getting me a sewing machine, so I can pick up a new hobby. I know how to sew, I use to watch my aunt sew, and then I took a sewing class in high school where I made, a purse, a wallet, and a quilt. So on day 5 I decided to make Makenna, our daughter, and a one piece outfit out of Daddy’s and mine old ACU’s. It was a cute overall outfit too. I used daisy buttons for the overalls to make it a bit more girly. I started that project that day, after cleaning around the house finally. I let the house go the last couple weeks my husband was home because I wanted to spend every waking moment and sleeping moment with him! Then after he left, I just was so depressed, I couldn’t clean. I wanted too, but I just couldn’t for some reason. But day 5 came around and I needed to get it done!! So I did and the house looked fabulous! I even hung up pictures on the walls. The day the high chair came in the mail, was also the day a huge package we had mailed ourselves when we went on leave to Reno, Nevada. It had all of our daughter’s summer clothes, picture frames, salt and pepper shakers, and more. I was able to hang up our family pictures now that the frames came finally!  Now our living room is 99% done! 

               On day 6 I finished the ACU outfit for Makenna and she looked so cute in it! I even put the Velcro strip in the center of the overalls, so I could change out the US ARMY name tape, and the HETHERTON name tape! I was so proud of myself too! It was so nice to give Makenna something that was strictly all about her Daddy and not anyone else! That day I went back to class too. I was going to my college math class every Mondays and Wednesdays for about 3 hours, and after Brandon left, I skipped out for a class session, then another one was cancelled, but I needed to go back so I didn’t get marked down for missing class. It was super hard to go back to school because so many people had questions and they were saying how sorry they were, and I just wanted to scream and tell them to shut up! This is what was going through my mind, “I don’t want your pity, I just want my husband home!” But I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up! I guess the saying “suck it up and drive on” really plays a role at this point. Makenna went to a really good friend of mine’s house, as she does most of the nights I went to school, and she was fussy the whole time. Nobody understood that my 6 month old baby was missing her dad too!! She knew he was gone. She was upset! She had just learned how to say Daddy and her Daddy was her best friend! She was a big Daddy’s girl! I just wished that people understood that she knew what was going on and she didn’t like it at all! She wasn’t just feeling what I was feeling , that may have been part of it, but she was also having her own feelings too! If you don’t believe me, just stop reading from this point on! For those who do, thank you for understanding, it means a lot!