Updates

          It's been a few days since I have been on here. Nothing new is really going on. I got to talk to my amazing husband today, and he told me that he is doing great and moving to another FOB! This could mean better communication, or not. I'm not really sure. We also got our combat pay today finally! I feel like if you are going to take my husband away from me and more importantly his kids, than his pay better be fixed! I decided that I will probably go home August 1st. I am buying my plane ticket soon. I am kind of waiting for a little bit, because the two weeks before the flight, ticket prices drop, and then climb again about a week before the flight. So, when we get paid mid-month, I will be getting my ticket! I am really excited to go home. I mean, I like being in the states and what not, but I miss home, where my bed is, where my furniture is, and where my Jeep is! I just miss my stuff. I hate staying with other people and relying on them. This leave has been kind of stressful and I probably should of just stayed in Germany. But lesson learned and I won't be coming back here ever. I hate the drama and that is what my family is! I can't stand it. I love them to death, but I need that ocean between us. Another this is, I feel like the sooner I get home, the sooner I will see Brandon. I have to remind myself, that that isn't true. Brandon will be coming home in the next few months for R & R and I am so excited. It is also bitter sweet, because I know after just a short 14 days, I have to say good bye to him again. I think this time will be easier, and it will be the last time I'll have to also. Then about 6 months later, he will be home forever! I ain't ever going to have to say good bye again. A year is entirely too long! Fuck this damn deployment and fuck the Army. That is how I really feel. But I use to be a Soldier and I know why he does this, but right at this very second, I could give two shits and I want to be selfish and have my husband home with his family!
          Anyways. I have a ton of stuff to do before I leave the states. I have to mail a bunch of stuff home. I also have to buy new luggage and un-enroll in WIC. Yes, we get WIC. My husband may be in the Army, but pay is crap, and we qualify for WIC. Thank goodness for it too! We would spend almost $200 in formula a month alone! My sister also is having a reception because she got married back in February and didn't tell anyone, so she is celebrating it now. My niece's 1st birthday is in July too. But most importantly, my step son turns 9 years old on July 25, so I need to go shopping for his birthday presents ASAP to mail to him! I can't believe he is 9 years old. I have only known him since he was 7, but still, it amazes me, how time really does fly. I love and miss him so much too! I can't wait to have him living with us. I really feel like he is one of my own, so it has been really hard on me to have him so far away from us, plus Makenna needs her big brother around to protect her and to love her!
          I asked Brandon on the phone today if he was ready for another baby and he said we will discuss it at another time. But just like 5 minutes before that, he said soon enough, towards having another baby. He really confuses me and goes back and forth about wanting another baby. I think he does, I just think he wants to travel so much when he gets back from Afghanistan, and I think he feels that that won't happen if we have another baby. Another thing about my husband. He was so excited to have our daughter, but he was also nervous. He feels like he isn't the best Daddy because when he joined the Army he had to leave his son with his Son's mother and hardly gets to see him. But Brandon is an amazing father and whenever he gets leave from the Army, he goes and see's his son. He calls him whenever he can, and always brags about him. The first night I met him he told me he had a son because he didn't want to be with anyone that couldn't accept his son. I would be the same way though, if roles were reversed. You can't have me unless you want my children too. But ever since Brandon brought Chance into my life, I have loved him like my own! Chance is my son, whether I delivered him or not! I don't care what anyone else says!
          But that is what is going on in my world. I can't wait to get back home to my house and all my stuff and to start school again on August 22nd. Going home also means hitting the gym every day! I got more weight to lose, most is gone, but I want more gone! I love my family so much and I can't wait to have them all to myself again, and all together! (Picture of my family on the top of my blog screen!)