KIA

          So, yesterday I found out that on July 05, 2011, 3 Soldiers were killed in action from and IED on the side of the road. They died from the injuries sustained from the blast. They past before any sort of medical attention could be given to them. They were in my husband's unit, separate platoons, and luckily my husband wasn't anywhere near the blast. That sounds super selfish, and I feel horrible that these innocent people died fighting for our country and I am so grateful for their sacrifice, but I am so relieved it wasn't Brandon! So after I stayed up practically the whole night because I was worried that it could of been Brandon and I just really wanted to hear his voice and to tell me he is ok, I finally fell asleep! But after that horrible night, I did wake up to a facebook message from Brandon saying "I love you! Get online!" Luckily my phone sends me updates from facebook and I jumped up and logged onto my computer. We facebook chatted for a minute and then we skyped. It was so nice to talk to him and he wasn't rushed at all. Makenna, our daughter, wasn't really interested in him at all. I think that she is forgetting who he is. She says "Dadda" still, but she doesn't react the same to him talking and his picture, like she did when he first left. Makes me sad, and I don't tell Brandon that she is forgetting you, because I don't want to upset him. So I just tell him she is teething really bad, that's all. He says ok and we move on. I think that its going to take a little bit for her to get back use to him, but he left when she was only 6 months old, she is 9 months now, and he will be home for R & R soon, and then home for good when she is almost 19 months old. That's a long time and for someone that young, its a really long time. I read online that babies don't really start remembering faces unless they are around them all the time, until about 9 months old. I see that this study is true. Makenna knows the people she see's on a daily basis, but other's she is still kind of weary about. She is getting better, but back when she was 6 months old it was like she had never met someone before, when she has. IDK! I wish there was more I could do. I show her his picture, she has a monkey (her favorite animal) with his voice recorded in it, she has a Daddy doll, which is a doll that is her Daddy. I remember back on Memorial Day weekend, we went to a support the troops event here in Michigan, and she seen a man in uniform and she was trying so hard to get him. She wanted him so bad. She threw a fit and everything. She cried and all I wanted to do was cry too. Made me super sad to see that I couldn't give her the one thing she wanted, her Daddy!
           So I have been so sick lately. I don't eat and I am constantly throwing up. I seriously think that it is becoming a problem, and I don't know what to do. I know its my stress levels and it makes it really hard for me to keep food down, or even get hungry, so I do eat. I am to the point where I am losing a lot of weight because I am not eating or keeping food down. I have to force myself to eat something or I could seriously go days without eating. I don't want people to think that I am being bulimic or something, I just can't help it. My friend's mom is really concerned and forces me to eat, she gives me zantag to help, but most of the time it don't. I feel way better after I throw up though. It's weird. I have always loved food! Never ever ever! had this issue before. This deployment is really wearing me down! My body is sore and everything! When I get back home I am going to go see the doctor!
          Speaking of throwing up, I feel it coming on! Got to go!