OMG!!! He seen!

          So I didn't get to talk to my husband on our anniversary and that was partially Brandon's fault. He thought that Saturday was the 15th, not Friday, so when he finally realized that he had his dates messed up, it was too late to call, so he called me Saturday. Well he got online on Saturday, and then we got on skype! It was so amazing to talk to him. I got to show him the pictures too!!! My plan totally worked! He loved them, he couldn't stop smiling! Makes me feel good that he really liked them and it also made me feel better that he didn't even guess that I would do something like that for him! I will post a couple of the pics that are a little less skimpy! I loved them too! She did a couple with my daughter and I, so I want to print them out, and put them in her bedroom! Moving on. I really thought that Brandon was using the excuse that he is in Afghanistan to not do anything for me for our anniversary, and yes, I understand its hard, but I think that he was almost taking advantage of that fact. Then of course, he comes up with this fabulous idea to go to Italy for a few days when he is on R & R for our anniversary! I really felt like the biggest ass ever for assuming that Brandon didn't think about me and doing something for me for our anniversary! I think I'll keep him! LOL! So, at the beginning of September I am going to Italy for a few days! I really can't wait to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa! We are going to have so much fun, I hope Makenna enjoys it too! She'll be 11 months old by then, so big enough to not just laze around and I can get some amazing pictures too! I love my life and my amazing husband!
           I really just want to give a shout out to him! He allows me not to work, and stay at home with our beautiful daughter so I too, don't have to miss any part of her growth and development! I am also so thankful that he pretty much gets me whatever I want, if we are financially ok, he lets me buy whatever I want without saying anything! Gosh, I love this man. I wish that everyone I love could find an amazing person like I have that gives me what I need and most of what I want! He truly is one in a million! I am the luckiest woman in the world!!
          Hopefully I get to talk to him in the morning. He facebooked me today saying that he only has a second, so of course I didn't get to talk to him, and that he will be on tomorrow so we can talk! I love talking to him and he makes me feel better.
          My friend is mad at me. We are on a softball team together, and I get told about all the games and such last minute, and I have to coordinate a baby sitter. I don't want to ask her Mom because she has her son a lot, because she works, and I know she gets tired out. My Aunt just started a new job a few days ago, so I lost my sitter. So I couldn't play at the game tonight. They found an alternate to play, so it really is no big deal. Plus, I really don't have that much fun playing. I know a lot of it is missing my home and Brandon, but it's just not like it was when I played when I was a kid! I think it also was that when I was a kid, I played with all my friends that I know and grew up with. IDK. Her brother is really mean to me all the time too, and it just is really annoying. He makes all these comments, and yes I can ignore them, but after like 12 years of ignoring them, it gets old, and I just don't want to be around that. It isn't worth it too me. Why go if I can't even have a good time? Plus I got to nap while Makenna napped, and I really needed that nap. I had a really bad migraine and I think that contributed to me not wanting to play tonight either. All well., can't dwell on the past.



          Makenna is in bed for the night! She was FIGHTING her sleep so bad, and that was an understatement for sure! Tomorrow is going to be super hot again, so we are going to be house bound again in the air conditioning! So I am going to spend the day getting everything around to go home! I have a couple packages to mail to myself, but I am hoping since I have lost more weight, that I will be able to get rid of some of the clothes that were given to me, and are now too big, and condense it all down to 1 box! Then I am taking three suitcases, one duffle bag, and 2 carry-on's on the plane, along with a car seat and stroller! Too easy! I really hate travelling, but it'll be worth it to get home, back on schedule, and I can hit the gym hard core for the month before Brandon gets home, so I look HOT HOT HOT!!! for him! Almost to my goal weight and you would think that I would feel better about myself, and yes sometimes I do, but I really don't most of the time. I put on an act, and I think that I have mastered it to my loved ones, but I still feel like I look gross and disgusting! Makes me mad though, that I have lost almost 20 pounds and that isn't enough for me to feel completely good about myself! HATE THIS!!! I really want to scream and shout and yell because it seems like nothing I do is good enough for myself! I swear I judge myself to harshly, and I know I do, but I can't stop!!! Definitely going to counseling! I think that I am depressed slightly, and I need some good self-esteem booster action too! I hope boxing helps with that! I think that it would be a great help it will help me get some anxiety and tension out! I'll feel better and if I feel better, Makenna feels ultra good! Which, I am not saying she isn't happy, because I know she is, but still!